acum un an si vreo 3 luni, pe 9 iulie mai precis, trimiteam emailul de mai jos lui leslie, my old friend, prin ea reusisem cu putin timp in urma sa il conectez pe patrick cu andrew solomon, ea si andrew fiind preteni vechi. mi-aduc aminte si acum cat de out-of-his-mind de excited era patrick, cum au facut ei interviu pe scena salii de la unatf unde a tinut andrew o conferinta, cum s-au mobilizat patrick si sasha sa gaseasca an alternative venue pentru conferinta aia - la unatf - atunci cind bcu a zis ca oh pardon, noi nu putem gazdui de fapt asa ceva, in conditiile in care totul era stabilit cu ei de vreo luna. si cum dupa aia a aparut buhu/acceptul si a suflat transformului tot caimacul, adica cum a reiesit pentru toata lumea ca acceptul facuse toate cele, contactase-adusese-organizase-relocase si bang uite ce chestie extraordinara au reusit ei sa ofere comunitatii. a well, such is life. ce-i drept ca si lui andrew solomon, cind a aparut in schema acceptul, i-au licarit ochii a 'oh dear, what have we here, such a fine gent this buhu, yum'
marturisesc ca in zilele alea l-am urmarit atenta pe marele autor al far from the tree, dorindu-mi sa simt acelasi elan adorator pe care-l vedeam la patrick si la alti cativa.
in ultima instanta, omul mi s-a parut ne-empatic, clasist, elitist, diva. okay, far from the tree e pretty impressive, dar ultimately omul e un upper middle class gent with first world issues and top-level resources to address his needs. a very different breed. great mind but not my kind of juju for sure.
la scurta vreme dupa ce a plecat andrew mie mi-a inforit in cap o idee. i-am povestit-o lui leslie in emailul de mai jos, pe care i l-am trimis cu un titlusubject super-manipulator yes i know:)
a avut o reactie pozitiva gagica, dar dupa aia a uitat complet de toata treaba, evident.
intre timp eu m-am apucat de treaba, si mi-am dat seama ce si cum vreau si pot, de fapt.
urmarea intr-un episod urmator:)
join me in transition? a letter to leslie - and maybe andrew
hey there flower:) hope you are well, where are you?
im doing alrightish, my mom is not though... she had a heart attack last week, on top of all her other things, like the breast cancer and diabetes and kidney disfunction... so that keeps me quite busy but i am not exhausted yet, mostly thanks to a small handful of people.
in this rather trying past year i have received a lot of loving support from two of the most gorgeous human beings ive ever met, brothers in transition and now my family - sasha ichim and patrick braila. sasha founded transform association about 2 years ago. their mission is to provide support for transgender persons and advocate for legal and medical measures that assist transition with full respect to human rights.
their mission is now part of my mission too. it fits in perfectly with what i have been up to in the past year. i have gathered a small group of lgbt high school students that i counsel and support as i can - their parents and sometimes teachers too. i have delivered workshops to over 50 high school teachers and 100 school counselors on gender and sexual identities, with a view to create a support network for lgbt kids in romanian highschools. i have built a small taskforce of some 10 committed high school teachers and a couple of school counselors with whom i keep in touch periodically and exchange support and educational resources with. in october i will train another 100+ counselors to it and will begin discussions with cjrae for a nation-wide project which will hopefully make it possible for me and sasha in 2017 to go train a small lgbt-aware group of teachers and school counselors in every county.
sasha and patrick breathe support for every trans person that gets in touch with them. some 150 trans persons from all over the country use transform as a platform for getting information about meds, doctors and legal procedures, as well as to help each other stay afloat during the storms and abysses of transition. their community organizing work is equipped more with love than actual skills. sasha is in the process of deciding whether he wants to go back to school to get a degree in social work, so there is a fair chance that transform's community work will soon be informed by a little technical knowledge as well. in the meantime, i chip in and help as i can. i am happy to connect them with people who can help, as was the case with cohn and jansen, an advertising agency who is doing a pro bono app for transform, to report aggressions and put them on a digital map that we can use in our advocacy campaigns.
the transform website is not up these days, but their fb page will give you a pretty clear idea about how great these guys are and how much heart and talent they put into their work.
i want you on board, will you play? we need advice from the sexy guru of ovidiu ro. can we haz dinner soon over how you would go about it if you had the patience to build another organization from scratch? transform is not at scratch level anymore, but sometimes it feels like thats where they should start from, afresh. im still in the process of learning how they do things, as im sort of mentoring sasha out of a blurry limbo, but structure is clearly needed there:)
i have been re-reading andrew's chapter on transgender in far from the tree, and have started to seriously consider starting a writing project that would document trans stories and provide whatever other info my field research could gather. this is in close tie with my wish to go for a doctorate soon. i have been playing at designing research instruments that ive been piloting with a bunch of trans persons randomly fished over the internet - it's fucking fascinating, i just cant believe the broadness of the range of responses to questions i never thought you could answer anything but yes or no to.
as i am talking to all these people in different stages of their transition, it feels sometimes that i myself am transitioning - just like andrew did in his book, from son to father. my perspective on gender is miles from what it was before i joined patrick and sasha and so many other incredible people in their transition. i am as awed and cautious in turns as alice in wonderland.
perhaps you might care to forward this to andrew, if you think that would be appropriate to his interests. i would be very curious to know his opinion on a writing project that would document these transitions i am talking about, my friends' as well as mine....
one last thing: i have fallen in love with tony, from andrew's book! (he also looks a bit like joe, weird as fuck that!) anways, do you think andrew might help us get tony to bucharest, to spend a week with us, to connect and learn from each other and see what comes of it? pweaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? i HAVE to talk to that guy <3
uite aici site-ul lui:
tell me you dont think tony awesome <3 <3 <3
hey, this has turned into one looong email, oops.
it's actually my first morning in bed after a rather long stormy week, so i guess my mind decided as i began to type that this email will be my weekend treat to myself:)
love you miss you join me in transition <3
cum ziceam, la scurt timp dupa asta m-am si apucat de treaba. incet dar sigur, amatoriceste ca dracu' dar slava domnului insotita si indrumata de oameni destepti ca fifi si dana ududec si victor draghicescu si un pic si de costel cojocariu (care a impartasit cu mine un super ghid, cu cateva luni inainte de publicarea acestuia, care a fost like a christmas prezzie). mai presus de orice, ma inspira si ma motiveaza fiecare licean din grupul pe care mi l-a lasat mostenire sasha, cu care vorbesc pe facebook sau la telefon des, cu cei din bucuresti ma si vad, si bai ma jur ca omuletii astia sint niste superheroes. sa mergi la scoala in fiecare zi, sa traiesti in casa cu niste oameni care te ignora sau te abuzeaza, dupa cum le e cheful in ziua aia, sa faci hrt shooting in the dark, fara supraveghere medicala, sa mai rezisti inca o zi fara sa incepi hrt cind fiecare atom din fiinta ta urla dupa injectia aia, sa tragi de tine in fiecare zi si sa iesi din casa, sa te lasi privit/a, dezbracat/a din priviri, sa ai 16 ani si sa te poti scoate din starea aia zilnica de franjuri si sa te recompui si sa mai ai si energie si chiar chef sa faci glume, si sa imi dai un sms ca ma iubesti, si sa ma rogi sa-ti caut nustiuce la dm in bucuresti, si sa imi scrii despre gagica-ta. nimeni. NIMENI nu are aceeasi forta si putere ca tine, my abel.
deci in ce directie am inceput eu sa ma misc?
hopefully in directia asta din factsheetul de mai jos.
am fost la o dezbatere cu puli-politicieni asta vara (aia unde a venit sa imi zica un usr-ist ca vrea sa m-ajute) unde adriana saftoiu a zis ca daca legea parteneriatului mai dureaza la minim 10 ani, atunci ce ziceam eu acolo si ce vedeti voi aici la recomandari in factsheetul de mai jos, dureaza he-HE. fa du-te-n pula mea.
doamne ce-as vrea sa nu mai injur pe propriul meu site.